Self-described eternal optimist Jacob Towery prefers enthusiasm over chastity and says the best part of his job is seeing a patient smile after a breakthrough — “when we’ve had a major session that helped them go from being miserable to feeling enlightened and happy.” In anticipation of this fall workshop, Finding Humans Less Scary, the child and adult psychologist and therapist shares his love for surfing, slingshots, and sci-fi, along with a great tip for maintaining a daily self-care routine: “A precious 15 minutes in which I don’t need to do anything or perform or help anyone. It’s just for me.”
What is Esalen to you?
A magical place of relaxation, connection, expansion, and inevitably yummy food.
What do you do/are you doing at Esalen?
I probably average about 10 hours a day reading paperback books. Most of that is in the tubs, but I’ll sneak in some more reading time at night and before meals. I also sleep.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Catching a wave right as it’s breaking, quickly popping up and turning down the line, riding the face of the wave with no other cares in the world.
What is your greatest fear in your work?
That someone will be upset about something and write me a one-star review that will then tank my average.
Which living or dead person do you most admire in your field?
Irv Yalom [The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy, When Nietzsche Wept] has been eternally kind to me, gentle, compassionate. I also admire David Burns [Feeling Good] for his brilliant ideas, generous spirit of teaching, incredible humor, and willingness to think outside the box.
What is your greatest extravagance related to your practice?
I take a week off every month. Sometimes two.
What is your current state of mind?
Calm, focused. A hint of playfulness.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Chastity
What is the quality you most like in a human?
Enthusiasm. And kindness.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My son Bryce
What about your work brings you the most happiness?
Seeing a rapid and profound shift in a patient when they go from believing something horrible and cruel about themselves to, within minutes, seeing the lies in the thoughts, not believing them, and we can laugh about it together.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Can I pick someone from Krypton? His ability to fly super fast. It sounds really fun.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
So many to choose from here. Can I be a few inches taller? I think my greatest weakness is that it still isn’t automatic for me to remember that other people’s wishes and desires are just as important as my own. It’s an eternal fight to keep this in mind and practice it for me.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Maybe getting into Stanford for residency. I also have yet to strike my child or call him some insulting name. That ranks pretty high in things I’m proud of.
If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
A slingshot
What is your most treasured possession?
My new 10’ Stormblade surfboard
How do you maintain your practice(s) during challenging times??
I meditate pretty much every morning. Something that has helped with that the past few months is choosing to see meditation as an indulgence, like eating dessert before dinner, a precious 15 minutes in which I don’t need to do anything or perform or help anyone. It’s just for me. That makes it less of a chore.
What is your favorite component of your work?
Seeing the smile on a patient’s face when we’ve had a major session that helped them go from being miserable to feeling enlightened and happy.
What is your most marked characteristic?
I’m eternally optimistic.
Who is your hero of fiction?
Kvothe from The Name of the Wind.
What is your greatest regret?
Times when I was cavalier with other people’s feelings.
How would you like to die?
In my sleep on my seven thousandth birthday.
What is your motto?
Life is short; don’t wait to do things that excite you.
“Remembering to be as self compassionate as I can and praying to the divine that we're all a part of.”
–Aaron
“Prayer, reading, meditation, walking.”
–Karen
“Erratically — which is an ongoing stream of practice to find peace.”
–Charles
“Try on a daily basis to be kind to myself and to realize that making mistakes is a part of the human condition. Learning from our mistakes is a journey. But it starts with compassion and caring. First for oneself.”
–Steve
“Physically: aerobic exercise, volleyball, ice hockey, cycling, sailing. Emotionally: unfortunately I have to work to ‘not care’ about people or situations which may end painfully. Along the lines of ‘attachment is the source of suffering’, so best to avoid it or limit its scope. Sad though because it could also be the source of great joy. Is it worth the risk?“
–Rainer
“It's time for my heart to be nurtured on one level yet contained on another. To go easy on me and to allow my feelings to be validated, not judged harshly. On the other hand, to let the heart rule with equanimity and not lead the mind and body around like a master.”
–Suzanne
“I spend time thinking of everything I am grateful for, and I try to develop my ability to express compassion for myself and others without reservation. I take time to do the things I need to do to keep myself healthy and happy. This includes taking experiential workshops, fostering relationships, and participating within groups which have a similar interest to become a more compassionate and fulfilled being.“
–Peter
“Self-forgiveness for my own judgments. And oh yeah, coming to Esalen.”
–David B.
“Hmm, this is a tough one! I guess I take care of my heart through fostering relationships with people I feel connected to. Spending quality time with them (whether we're on the phone, through messages/letters, on Zoom, or in-person). Being there for them, listening to them, sharing what's going on with me, my struggles and my successes... like we do in the Esalen weekly Friends of Esalen Zoom sessions!”
–Lori
“I remind myself in many ways of the fact that " Love is all there is!" LOVE is the prize and this one precious life is the stage we get to learn our lessons. I get out into nature, hike, camp, river kayak, fly fish, garden, I create, I dance (not enough!), and I remain grateful for each day, each breath, each moment. Being in the moment, awake, and remembering the gift of life and my feeling of gratitude for all of creation.”
–Steven
“My physical heart by limiting stress and eating a heart-healthy diet. My emotional heart by staying in love with the world and by knowing that all disappointment and loss will pass.“
–David Z.
Today, September 29, is World Heart Day. Strike up a conversation with your own heart and as you feel comfortable, encourage others to do the same. As part of our own transformations and self-care, we sometimes ask for others to illuminate and enliven our hearts or speak our love language.
What if we could do this for ourselves too, even if just for today… or to start a heart practice, forever?
Self-described eternal optimist Jacob Towery prefers enthusiasm over chastity and says the best part of his job is seeing a patient smile after a breakthrough — “when we’ve had a major session that helped them go from being miserable to feeling enlightened and happy.” In anticipation of this fall workshop, Finding Humans Less Scary, the child and adult psychologist and therapist shares his love for surfing, slingshots, and sci-fi, along with a great tip for maintaining a daily self-care routine: “A precious 15 minutes in which I don’t need to do anything or perform or help anyone. It’s just for me.”
What is Esalen to you?
A magical place of relaxation, connection, expansion, and inevitably yummy food.
What do you do/are you doing at Esalen?
I probably average about 10 hours a day reading paperback books. Most of that is in the tubs, but I’ll sneak in some more reading time at night and before meals. I also sleep.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Catching a wave right as it’s breaking, quickly popping up and turning down the line, riding the face of the wave with no other cares in the world.
What is your greatest fear in your work?
That someone will be upset about something and write me a one-star review that will then tank my average.
Which living or dead person do you most admire in your field?
Irv Yalom [The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy, When Nietzsche Wept] has been eternally kind to me, gentle, compassionate. I also admire David Burns [Feeling Good] for his brilliant ideas, generous spirit of teaching, incredible humor, and willingness to think outside the box.
What is your greatest extravagance related to your practice?
I take a week off every month. Sometimes two.
What is your current state of mind?
Calm, focused. A hint of playfulness.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Chastity
What is the quality you most like in a human?
Enthusiasm. And kindness.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My son Bryce
What about your work brings you the most happiness?
Seeing a rapid and profound shift in a patient when they go from believing something horrible and cruel about themselves to, within minutes, seeing the lies in the thoughts, not believing them, and we can laugh about it together.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Can I pick someone from Krypton? His ability to fly super fast. It sounds really fun.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
So many to choose from here. Can I be a few inches taller? I think my greatest weakness is that it still isn’t automatic for me to remember that other people’s wishes and desires are just as important as my own. It’s an eternal fight to keep this in mind and practice it for me.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Maybe getting into Stanford for residency. I also have yet to strike my child or call him some insulting name. That ranks pretty high in things I’m proud of.
If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
A slingshot
What is your most treasured possession?
My new 10’ Stormblade surfboard
How do you maintain your practice(s) during challenging times??
I meditate pretty much every morning. Something that has helped with that the past few months is choosing to see meditation as an indulgence, like eating dessert before dinner, a precious 15 minutes in which I don’t need to do anything or perform or help anyone. It’s just for me. That makes it less of a chore.
What is your favorite component of your work?
Seeing the smile on a patient’s face when we’ve had a major session that helped them go from being miserable to feeling enlightened and happy.
What is your most marked characteristic?
I’m eternally optimistic.
Who is your hero of fiction?
Kvothe from The Name of the Wind.
What is your greatest regret?
Times when I was cavalier with other people’s feelings.
How would you like to die?
In my sleep on my seven thousandth birthday.
What is your motto?
Life is short; don’t wait to do things that excite you.
“Remembering to be as self compassionate as I can and praying to the divine that we're all a part of.”
–Aaron
“Prayer, reading, meditation, walking.”
–Karen
“Erratically — which is an ongoing stream of practice to find peace.”
–Charles
“Try on a daily basis to be kind to myself and to realize that making mistakes is a part of the human condition. Learning from our mistakes is a journey. But it starts with compassion and caring. First for oneself.”
–Steve
“Physically: aerobic exercise, volleyball, ice hockey, cycling, sailing. Emotionally: unfortunately I have to work to ‘not care’ about people or situations which may end painfully. Along the lines of ‘attachment is the source of suffering’, so best to avoid it or limit its scope. Sad though because it could also be the source of great joy. Is it worth the risk?“
–Rainer
“It's time for my heart to be nurtured on one level yet contained on another. To go easy on me and to allow my feelings to be validated, not judged harshly. On the other hand, to let the heart rule with equanimity and not lead the mind and body around like a master.”
–Suzanne
“I spend time thinking of everything I am grateful for, and I try to develop my ability to express compassion for myself and others without reservation. I take time to do the things I need to do to keep myself healthy and happy. This includes taking experiential workshops, fostering relationships, and participating within groups which have a similar interest to become a more compassionate and fulfilled being.“
–Peter
“Self-forgiveness for my own judgments. And oh yeah, coming to Esalen.”
–David B.
“Hmm, this is a tough one! I guess I take care of my heart through fostering relationships with people I feel connected to. Spending quality time with them (whether we're on the phone, through messages/letters, on Zoom, or in-person). Being there for them, listening to them, sharing what's going on with me, my struggles and my successes... like we do in the Esalen weekly Friends of Esalen Zoom sessions!”
–Lori
“I remind myself in many ways of the fact that " Love is all there is!" LOVE is the prize and this one precious life is the stage we get to learn our lessons. I get out into nature, hike, camp, river kayak, fly fish, garden, I create, I dance (not enough!), and I remain grateful for each day, each breath, each moment. Being in the moment, awake, and remembering the gift of life and my feeling of gratitude for all of creation.”
–Steven
“My physical heart by limiting stress and eating a heart-healthy diet. My emotional heart by staying in love with the world and by knowing that all disappointment and loss will pass.“
–David Z.
Today, September 29, is World Heart Day. Strike up a conversation with your own heart and as you feel comfortable, encourage others to do the same. As part of our own transformations and self-care, we sometimes ask for others to illuminate and enliven our hearts or speak our love language.
What if we could do this for ourselves too, even if just for today… or to start a heart practice, forever?
Self-described eternal optimist Jacob Towery prefers enthusiasm over chastity and says the best part of his job is seeing a patient smile after a breakthrough — “when we’ve had a major session that helped them go from being miserable to feeling enlightened and happy.” In anticipation of this fall workshop, Finding Humans Less Scary, the child and adult psychologist and therapist shares his love for surfing, slingshots, and sci-fi, along with a great tip for maintaining a daily self-care routine: “A precious 15 minutes in which I don’t need to do anything or perform or help anyone. It’s just for me.”
What is Esalen to you?
A magical place of relaxation, connection, expansion, and inevitably yummy food.
What do you do/are you doing at Esalen?
I probably average about 10 hours a day reading paperback books. Most of that is in the tubs, but I’ll sneak in some more reading time at night and before meals. I also sleep.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Catching a wave right as it’s breaking, quickly popping up and turning down the line, riding the face of the wave with no other cares in the world.
What is your greatest fear in your work?
That someone will be upset about something and write me a one-star review that will then tank my average.
Which living or dead person do you most admire in your field?
Irv Yalom [The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy, When Nietzsche Wept] has been eternally kind to me, gentle, compassionate. I also admire David Burns [Feeling Good] for his brilliant ideas, generous spirit of teaching, incredible humor, and willingness to think outside the box.
What is your greatest extravagance related to your practice?
I take a week off every month. Sometimes two.
What is your current state of mind?
Calm, focused. A hint of playfulness.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Chastity
What is the quality you most like in a human?
Enthusiasm. And kindness.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My son Bryce
What about your work brings you the most happiness?
Seeing a rapid and profound shift in a patient when they go from believing something horrible and cruel about themselves to, within minutes, seeing the lies in the thoughts, not believing them, and we can laugh about it together.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Can I pick someone from Krypton? His ability to fly super fast. It sounds really fun.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
So many to choose from here. Can I be a few inches taller? I think my greatest weakness is that it still isn’t automatic for me to remember that other people’s wishes and desires are just as important as my own. It’s an eternal fight to keep this in mind and practice it for me.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Maybe getting into Stanford for residency. I also have yet to strike my child or call him some insulting name. That ranks pretty high in things I’m proud of.
If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
A slingshot
What is your most treasured possession?
My new 10’ Stormblade surfboard
How do you maintain your practice(s) during challenging times??
I meditate pretty much every morning. Something that has helped with that the past few months is choosing to see meditation as an indulgence, like eating dessert before dinner, a precious 15 minutes in which I don’t need to do anything or perform or help anyone. It’s just for me. That makes it less of a chore.
What is your favorite component of your work?
Seeing the smile on a patient’s face when we’ve had a major session that helped them go from being miserable to feeling enlightened and happy.
What is your most marked characteristic?
I’m eternally optimistic.
Who is your hero of fiction?
Kvothe from The Name of the Wind.
What is your greatest regret?
Times when I was cavalier with other people’s feelings.
How would you like to die?
In my sleep on my seven thousandth birthday.
What is your motto?
Life is short; don’t wait to do things that excite you.
“Remembering to be as self compassionate as I can and praying to the divine that we're all a part of.”
–Aaron
“Prayer, reading, meditation, walking.”
–Karen
“Erratically — which is an ongoing stream of practice to find peace.”
–Charles
“Try on a daily basis to be kind to myself and to realize that making mistakes is a part of the human condition. Learning from our mistakes is a journey. But it starts with compassion and caring. First for oneself.”
–Steve
“Physically: aerobic exercise, volleyball, ice hockey, cycling, sailing. Emotionally: unfortunately I have to work to ‘not care’ about people or situations which may end painfully. Along the lines of ‘attachment is the source of suffering’, so best to avoid it or limit its scope. Sad though because it could also be the source of great joy. Is it worth the risk?“
–Rainer
“It's time for my heart to be nurtured on one level yet contained on another. To go easy on me and to allow my feelings to be validated, not judged harshly. On the other hand, to let the heart rule with equanimity and not lead the mind and body around like a master.”
–Suzanne
“I spend time thinking of everything I am grateful for, and I try to develop my ability to express compassion for myself and others without reservation. I take time to do the things I need to do to keep myself healthy and happy. This includes taking experiential workshops, fostering relationships, and participating within groups which have a similar interest to become a more compassionate and fulfilled being.“
–Peter
“Self-forgiveness for my own judgments. And oh yeah, coming to Esalen.”
–David B.
“Hmm, this is a tough one! I guess I take care of my heart through fostering relationships with people I feel connected to. Spending quality time with them (whether we're on the phone, through messages/letters, on Zoom, or in-person). Being there for them, listening to them, sharing what's going on with me, my struggles and my successes... like we do in the Esalen weekly Friends of Esalen Zoom sessions!”
–Lori
“I remind myself in many ways of the fact that " Love is all there is!" LOVE is the prize and this one precious life is the stage we get to learn our lessons. I get out into nature, hike, camp, river kayak, fly fish, garden, I create, I dance (not enough!), and I remain grateful for each day, each breath, each moment. Being in the moment, awake, and remembering the gift of life and my feeling of gratitude for all of creation.”
–Steven
“My physical heart by limiting stress and eating a heart-healthy diet. My emotional heart by staying in love with the world and by knowing that all disappointment and loss will pass.“
–David Z.
Today, September 29, is World Heart Day. Strike up a conversation with your own heart and as you feel comfortable, encourage others to do the same. As part of our own transformations and self-care, we sometimes ask for others to illuminate and enliven our hearts or speak our love language.
What if we could do this for ourselves too, even if just for today… or to start a heart practice, forever?
Esalen Institute
55000 Highway 1
Big Sur, CA 93920
US: 1-831-667-3000
info@esalen.org
