is a licensed psychologist in private practice in San Mateo, Calif. He has led workshops for couples for many decades at Esalen. He is
the author of Couple Therapy and Hidden Meanings. He and his wife have been married since 2000.
How can you be open and vulnerable to love your partner, and, at the same time, free to continue to grow as an individual? This balance of merging and still maintaining your own center is never completely worked out, because each partner is continually changing. However, this dilemma of competing needs can be dealt with in ways that will add even more aliveness to what you already have together. In fact, a relationship that offers closeness, and at the same time freedom, can be a superb opportunity for your own deepest growth.