is a licensed psychologist who has maintained a private practice in San Mateo, Calif., since 1964. He has led more than 100 workshops at Esalen since 1966. Now 80, he is the author of Couple Therapy and Hidden Meanings.
How can you be open and vulnerable to love your partner, and, at the same time, free to continue to grow as an individual? This balance of merging and still maintaining your own center is never completely worked out, because each partner is continually changing. However, this dilemma of competing needs can be dealt with in ways that will add even more aliveness to what you already have together. In fact, a relationship that offers closeness, and at the same time freedom, can be a superb opportunity for your own deepest growth.